Good Memory
Two
elderly couple were having evening tea and talking about last night
they saw a movie, One man said that this movie
was very good and he enjoyed a lot.
the other man asked what is the name of that
movie,
first man asked the other man, what is the
name of that flower usually we give to
our girls on first date and has thorns in
the branch, The second man Said Rose,
First Man, hay Rose
what was the name of the movie we saw last night.
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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By
Women (and what they actually mean...)
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10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred
banjo-playing
geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference
in our ages. (I don't want to do my dad)
8. I'm not attracted to you
in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork
I've ever laid
eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated
right now. (I don't want you spending
the whole night
or else you may hear phone calls from all the other
guys I'm seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend (I
prefer my male cat and a half gallon of
Ben and Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where
I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in
the same 'solar
system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my
career. (Even something as boring and
unfulfilling
as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn
off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line
given by women (and what it
actually means)
1. Let's be friends. (I want
you to stay around so I can tell you in
excruciating
detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.
It's that male
perspective thing)
And now...the top 10 things that sound dirty in law, but aren't:10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
1. Think you can get me off?
Special High Intensity Training
TO : All Employees
FROM : Management
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else.
If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on
the
job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at
the
top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled
at
seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE
ATTITUDE TRAINING
(E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers
took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, they are
full of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training
others. We can add you name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING
LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full
of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get
the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR
OF
INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank You,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
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